Tuesday, August 9, 2011

'Twas the Night Before Kindergarten...

...and all through the house, the kidlets were sleeping...

yeah, I got nothin' that rhymes with that. Oh well. :)

I fully admit to a breakdown this afternoon, crying to my mommy. It's all good, just overwhelming. We met with the nurse, teacher and health assistant today and while I am fully confident that things will be okay, it just really hit me how much I have to teach them. Our school nurse has never dealt with a pump before (the T1D kid last year was in 6th grade and did all of her own care with her Omnipod and texted her mom with the info) and the other T1D kid at our nurse's other school is on MDI. So there was a bit of a "deer in headlights" look to everyone when I was explaining how his pump worked. Much like I felt when we first started this whole thing.

They are relying on me and I am relying on them. The school is awesome and they will do whatever I ask, and I can be at school as much as needed...which will be a lot over the next few weeks as we get his schedule situated.

The thing that just broke my heart into tiny little pieces today was when I was explaining the how the Glucagon worked to his teacher. I thought Adam was busy on my iPod, but he was listening. I said something like, "In the event he passes out, this is what you will need to use..." and Adam jumped up and pulled on my arm and made me go back to the bathroom with him. I thought he had to go, but he said, "no...it really scared me when you said 'pass out.' Is that going to happen, Mommy?"

Of all the things he knows about diabetes, I don't think he fully understands what the consequences of a severe low blood sugar are...and really, at 5 years old, he shouldn't have to. But that frightened him. It was the first time I've ever really seen him scared about diabetes (aside from the beginning and all of the shots.)

I reassured him as best as I could, but he was a grumpity grump after that...his blood sugar was really high and everyone got to see what "combative, angry, cranky" high blood sugar looks like. I especially loved the part where he hit me in front of his teacher because we couldn't leave yet. Ugh.

I haven't been terribly sad about diabetes in a long time, but tonight I am. Very sad. And I want to be happy and excited for my boy's big day tomorrow.


  1. Hi there! I'm new to your blog, but i wanted to write you and say to hang in there! You can do this! My daughter, Emma (7yrs old) was diagnosed 2 months before kindergarten started and I was a wreck. It really is a fine line to walk trying to reassure a 4 or 5 yr old that they will be ok with all that involves diabetes while at school. HUGS to you!!

  2. D has me sad tonight, too. I've been working on Bean's 504 and it's just all so overwhelming!
    Yeah, this is year 2 at school with D, but it's totally different than last year seeing it all down in black and white (no 504 last year).
    I think it's a good thing that Adam's care is 'new' to them...that way you won't have to deal with 'oh, we've done it this way, so that's how we will do it with him' and you can all work together to formulate a plan just for him.
    Sorry about the unplanned teachable moment...ugh! But at the same time it's important for him to know what could happen and it's really important for the teachers to see his behavior due to BGs!
    Will be sending happy first day thoughts your way!! :)

  3. Hey, isn't he on the ping? I made a "cheat sheet" for that too...a care guide for the nurse. Do you want it? Email me at sweetandjoe@gmail if you do.

    It is scary...I am reliving it through you...I remember. I was also fairly emotional a couple of weeks into the school year due to the bittersweetness of it all. xo

  4. Brought tears to my eyes just reading about the passing out part. Effing D.
    I hope his first day goes well for you and him.
    Please update when you can. Thinking about you

    Arijana C.

  5. Getting hit in front of the teacher. How embarrassing!
    I always think it must be weird to try and explain Glucagon to someone, esp. since I'm nervous about doing it myself -- and I'm a d'expert. Hard to expect someone else to get it.

  6. Oh Stephanie, I so understand the fears and sadness. I am right there with you. Interesting that the pump was a new thing to them and you have a school nurse. I fear I am making the wrong decision sending Natalie to a school without a nurse, but shots are more trouble to our one day a week nurse. So I guess there is a learning curve at every school pretty much. I get just wanting to enjoy the first day of school with your boy and not deal with this D-crap. Sorry about the glucagon conversation...that is tough. And dealing with the high bg's, but it is good they were able to see that while you were there to explain. I am thinking of you and praying for a great first day. We can do it!

  7. So today (yesterday?) was sad - that's okay. He does have a chronic illness with significant health risks. It's OKAY that both you and him get frustrated with the unfairness of it all.

    The good news is that by having that kind of day yesterday means you DON'T need to focus on diabetes on his first day of school. You've already covered off as much as you can, and everyone is prepared as they can be. Now, you just need to focus on being proud and excited FOR him so he has a terrific day tomorrow :).

    (Besides... hardly anything happens on the first day of school, anyway, it's next week when reality will set it...)

    Good luck! Adam will have a GREAT day, and you will cry :). That's just how it goes.


  8. I am so sorry. Liam and I recently had the discussion about what happens when he doesn't treat a low- because he was deciding NOT to tell us when his Dexcom alerted. We talked about passing out and the Glucagon, but somehow, he got it in his head that he could die. I hadn't mentioned it to him because I didn't think he needed to worry about it, but he talks about himself dying sometimes now, and it is so hard to hear and even harder to comfort. I hope today went great for you guys!
    Oh, and by the way, the first time Liam met the kindergarten teachers, he was super high and hid under their table and refused to come out. Totally not himself- and now I wonder what they think of him. Oh well.

  9. I hope you feeling better now. That would have tugged at my heart too. My heart broke one day when Justin started asking about a conversation he overheard between my husband and I.

    I hope the first day(or week at this point) of school was great. Your school seems awesome to work with.