Saturday, December 4, 2010

Feeling sad

I am feeling sad tonight.

And not much of it has to do with diabetes.

Although, I'd love to kick it in the a** because it makes things so damn difficult every day. We've had some wicked lows the last few days - random 50's. And now he's asleep sky-high, because I let him HAVE FUN and eat whatever he wanted at the school's Night at the North Pole event.

I've had too many instances the last few days of realizing that my kids are growing up. They are not babies anymore. They are not toddlers. I have an elementary-aged kiddo and a preschooler that looks like a kindergartener.

I went to the mall with my daughter today and I asked her if she wanted to see Santa this year. She said, "Mom...I think I'm getting too old for that."

Break a momma's heart, why dontcha.

She still believes, but the questions are getting better. More logical, more thought out. As I walked around the mall today, I saw moms with little babies and toddlers in strollers and I was starting to miss that stage. My kiddos and I would head to the mall on a weekday and roam around, hit the play area and just hang out. Especially at Christmastime, when there is so much to look much magic in their eyes. Even a trip to Target was fun to look at all the Christmas stuff.

This year I'm feeling sad about it all. I feel like I waited so long for them to be old enough to do the "fun" stuff during the holidays and now it seems like it is passing by so fast and they are moving on to a different stage already. I could barely get them to sit with me to watch "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" the other day.

We did start a new tradition this year - I took my daughter to see the Nutcracker and she LOVED it. I saw the wonder and sparkle in her eyes and I wanted to freeze that moment.

Because I know that those moments are fleeting.

Sigh. Can't we freeze time for a bit?


  1. AWWW...I know exactly how you are feeling a blink of an eye they change. I see it with mine too. We went out for an awesome walk with the dog last night and looked at all the beautiful Christmas lights in our neighborhood. They loved it.

    Bummer about the low and highs :(

    It is hard to watch their blood sugar oscillate so much when you just want to let them enjoy and be a child! (((HUGS)))

  2. Oh, yes, I'd love to freeze time for a bit! I never want my children to grow up! But...each time they hit a new stage, I think how wonderful that stage is and that I don't want them to move on to the next. Then the next comes, and it's even better! My in the moment and just enjoy your beautiful children! Hard to do, I know, especially when you're battling highs and lows and everything in between. Just remember you're not alone and you can't control diabetes at this age, just correct it when it's off.

  3. Oh....I can totally relate to this post.

    I think this will be the last year of Santa for Sugar. It kind of makes me sad...thinking back on all the years of childhood wonder and knowing I'll probably crack the code this summer, after she turns 8.

    I don't want her to find out during the season. I'm thinking we'll have a date -- just the two of us and we'll talk about it.

    Since she's growing up, and all....
    While Santa is fun, it's important to me that I make sure she understands that I wanted t

  4. Sorry....commented too soon....

    Was GOING to say....

    ...make sure she understands that I wanted to be honest with her.


  5. It goes by so fast. So unbelievably fast.

    Sometimes it takes my breath away.

  6. I have been feeling the same. Just yesterday, Gregg remarked that Madeline is half way to college. That hit me like a ton of bricks. How did that happen???

    I want to stop time temporarily to savor these days.