Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Steady (for now)

I think I may be finally coming a bit out of my funk/depression/whatever-ness that I've been in the last few weeks. It's definitely not gone, but the last two days I have felt better, so that has to be good.

Adam is doing really well. His numbers are pretty steady and easily manageable. This is what I'm worried about though - this "honeymoon" period tricking me into thinking that things are always going to be this easy.

'Cause I read all y'all's blogs, and I know it's not.

I was talking to my neighbor - the one who has had T1D since she was 30, was a nurse, a CDE AND works for Dexcom - and she said to just try and enjoy the smoothness of things now and hone my skills in carb counting and injections, because at some point, it's not going to be this easy.

I know this...I just wish I knew WHEN that damn pancreas was going to totally stop working.

I do know that I am one of the lucky ones, though. I have a ton of family and friend support. I have the DOC. I have neighbors with T1D, neighbors who are nurses and a couple of friends who are Physician Assistants. I have a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips.

It just doesn't make it any easier when you get up in the morning and realize that yes...I HAVE to get up and check that damn blood sugar. I HAVE to watch every morsel that goes in his mouth. I can't FALL ASLEEP and forget that Adam had a snack and then be surprised when his blood sugar is in the 300's. (Yeah, that made me feel like a total moron.)

I can't be off my game...and that, my friends, is exhausting. And I know that you guys know that all too well.


  1. Oh, boy, do we know that over here! You know what though? It's worth the exhaustion when we have one of our really good days and Lily's feeling great! You'll get the hang of it. It just takes time and practice and tough skin. Diabetes is crazy sometimes and it throws you a curve ball every now and then to keep you on your toes. But, we survive and keep going and gear up for the next battle. It's just what we do as moms with side-jobs as pancreases!

  2. It is hard work trying to be a perfect pancreas! Exhausting for sure. Treasure those steady days, they will help pull you through the rougher days.

    This diabetes ride is a continual learning process. I am 18 months into this with my daughter and I am still learning stuff.

    Hang in there, it does get easier.

  3. I call it "The Storm"....things will be calm, but I know a storm is always out there -- building up strength.....and I'm on constant watch for signs that it's coming ashore.

    It's true. YOU MUST SAVOR THE QUIET TIMES....or else you'll end up lost at sea.

    Keep up the good work :)

  4. Sometimes, I have even lulled myself into some sort of stupor...thinking Joe has a "lesser" form of type 1 - LOL...when things are going well, this is what I tell myself. Then all hell breaks loose.

    Enjoy the calm...you'll be more rested for the storm. (((HUGS))) and you are doing GREAT!

  5. There is a little "moron" in ALL of us sista!
    I was totally out of it as Justin ate an entire pack of Starburst with no bolus the other day.

    Good thing he started out a little low.

    Glad your feeling better :)

  6. So sorry for your funk...I am full on in the funk the last couple of weeks myself. I haven't quite got over it yet. But I do know I am soooo lucky (and so are you) to have these ladies (and gents) blogging and making the air easier to breath. D sucks and that's just the facts babe! ((Hugs))

  7. Yeah, the "no forgetting allowed" rule is a crappy one! I'm with your friend, enjoy the smooth times, they are precious!

  8. It is a rough road we are all on. I'd be worried if you weren't in a bit of a funk! It seems like after the initial shock of diagnosis and learning everything starts to wear off it can get even harder because you realize that this is it...this is your life and his life forever.
    OK now I am being depressing! Sorry! But you are doing so great! I didn't even find the DOC until Emma had been diagnosed for almost a year, and these wonderful people helped make all the difference for me.
    Glad you've been feeling better and I hope it just keeps getting better and better!