Thursday, September 29, 2011

High Risk

Uh...er...uh...hello?

I have attempted to blog so many times in the last few weeks, even crafted entries in my head, but never got the mojo to put fingers to keyboard. I think I have needed a little break these last few weeks - settling into school for the kids and getting used to our new routine.

Also? I haven't wanted to think about diabetes all that much lately. I don't want to read about it, I don't want to do any research and...if I'm really going to be honest here, I wasn't even planning on doing our JDRF Walk this year. (But never fear, we are going to walk. It may just be a few of us, and we won't have fancy t-shirts and thousands of dollars raised, but we will be there.) I'll go ahead and admit that I feel like I am not doing enough when it comes to advocacy, but it's just not something I can focus on right now. Sometimes I just want to crawl into my own little world and pretend that diabetes doesn't exist.

But, that is not reality. So, I avoid all the "other stuff" while continuing to do my daily diabetes duties. (Damn, I love alliteration.)

I will admit I cried a bit today. Sometimes it's the silliest little things that get to me. Yesterday it was the fact that I had to pull Adam out of school to see his eye doc, and he was MAD. He was so pissed that he was missing school. And then? An hour later I had to run back because his contact lens was bothering him and I had to take it out.

I just wanted to scream. Why can't this kid just enjoy life and stay in his classroom all day like the other kids? Not only does he have to leave for diabetes, but for his eye as well (we are transitioning to a new contact lens and the fit isn't right....so we are having issues.)

And today, it was two little words - high risk. It was just a passing comment from our health assistant in reference to his care, but when she said, "Well, Adam is the most high risk student we have here, so he is our priority" it made me tear up.  I LOVE the fact that they take such good care of him, but it was really hard for some reason to hear the words "high risk" and "Adam" in the same sentence.

Other than those little things, life has been busy but good. I am happy being home for my kids - baking cooking, doing homework, volunteering at the school. I'm co-chairing our school's Book Fair in a few weeks and I'm feeling fulfilled.

Oh! I almost forgot...I have a giveaway that I need to plan! So that will get me back here in the next week or so. Stay tuned. :)

12 comments:

  1. Good to hear from you. And, I think it's great not to spend all your time thinking about diabetes. Let life absorb you instead. Glad you're happy with the rest of the details...Amy

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  2. Oh, Stephanie. I know how you feel. Sometimes it feels good to pretend it doesn't exist, and to get on with your life. : )
    And I know exactly how you feel about the Walk! I say every year that we won't walk next year, that I need a year off, but we NEVER do it. One they get big, they won't let you miss it. : (
    I guess I'm glad we do it. One day I'll be glad anyway. ; ) Thinking about you sweet girl! Big Hugs!

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  3. I haven't registered for the walk. There. I said it.

    My blog has always brought me so much joy, but lately, I don't want to check my email, I don't want to get on FB, I don't want to write anything.

    I just want to do the deeds and move on.

    I get it, my friend. Just know you aren't alone.

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  4. We are struggling. "D" is in my face way too much this past week.

    LOVE you and it was good to get an update. xo

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  5. Been off the blogs a while as well....too much going on, no time to read or write or comment (but I gotta send you my love) Don't feel bad for taking a break, we Dmoms have a lot in our lives and I think our time spent on D (other than managing it) ebbs and flows.

    As for the Walk, I hope you do go, even if your team is small and you don't raise any $$. This year, I said I wasn't going to go all out for our walk since I was so burnt out from last years fundraising, etc. Then I got talked into being the Family Team Chair. I am not sure why I agreed to do it and I admittedly didn't put much effort into it. I also didn't do much for fundraising and team building for our own team but surprisingly it is coming together...our walk is Sunday and have over 45 people registered for our team and more keep joining, we are almost to the $3000 mark for fundraising too. This is all less than we did in the past but so much more than I was hoping for.

    Anyhow, hope all brightens back up. :-)

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  6. I have needed blogging breaks for the exact reasons you mentioned. Take the break. Divert your attention away from D. Focus on the book fair. Bake to your heart's content. Enjoy the kids. The blog and all of your readers will be waiting for you when you're ready to return. We all understand.

    This will be our 4th Walk, and honestly, we debated whether we would do it again this year...I still have yet to register and send out a fundraising letter, but will get there. So I want to extend an offer. If you'd like to be a part of a team and wear a shirt, feel free to join Jack's Pack. We'd love to have you, and of course, we won't just be walking for Jack. Whether you join us or not, we will be walking for Adam, too. ;)

    You and I are so alike. Baking and alliteration -- both make me happy, too! :)

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  7. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

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  8. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

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  9. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

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  10. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

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  11. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. yes yes yes, i have totally been there with the blogging burnout and not sure if we want to participate in the walk again. basically, everything heidi said. and the other comments as well. you're not alone. :)

    ReplyDelete