...and all through the house, the kidlets were sleeping...
yeah, I got nothin' that rhymes with that. Oh well. :)
I fully admit to a breakdown this afternoon, crying to my mommy. It's all good, just overwhelming. We met with the nurse, teacher and health assistant today and while I am fully confident that things will be okay, it just really hit me how much I have to teach them. Our school nurse has never dealt with a pump before (the T1D kid last year was in 6th grade and did all of her own care with her Omnipod and texted her mom with the info) and the other T1D kid at our nurse's other school is on MDI. So there was a bit of a "deer in headlights" look to everyone when I was explaining how his pump worked. Much like I felt when we first started this whole thing.
They are relying on me and I am relying on them. The school is awesome and they will do whatever I ask, and I can be at school as much as needed...which will be a lot over the next few weeks as we get his schedule situated.
The thing that just broke my heart into tiny little pieces today was when I was explaining the how the Glucagon worked to his teacher. I thought Adam was busy on my iPod, but he was listening. I said something like, "In the event he passes out, this is what you will need to use..." and Adam jumped up and pulled on my arm and made me go back to the bathroom with him. I thought he had to go, but he said, "no...it really scared me when you said 'pass out.' Is that going to happen, Mommy?"
Of all the things he knows about diabetes, I don't think he fully understands what the consequences of a severe low blood sugar are...and really, at 5 years old, he shouldn't have to. But that frightened him. It was the first time I've ever really seen him scared about diabetes (aside from the beginning and all of the shots.)
I reassured him as best as I could, but he was a grumpity grump after that...his blood sugar was really high and everyone got to see what "combative, angry, cranky" high blood sugar looks like. I especially loved the part where he hit me in front of his teacher because we couldn't leave yet. Ugh.
I haven't been terribly sad about diabetes in a long time, but tonight I am. Very sad. And I want to be happy and excited for my boy's big day tomorrow.