Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Verdict?

Well, we've been "podding" for 10 days now.

Do I like it? Yes.

Do I love it?


After being on the Animas Ping for a year, and having our own struggles with that, I wasn't naive enough to assume that switching to OmniPod would be smooth sailing. But I did have a teeny, tiny hope deep down inside that it would rock our world (in a good way, of course!) I didn't expect a bent cannula, blood in the NEXT cannula and a ripped-off pod in the first week alone.

I have come to the following conclusion: All artificial insulin delivery systems suck ass in their own special way.

**groundbreaking, right?**

Sigh. Don't get me wrong. The pod is super neat. I like love the PDM. The bright screen, the intuitive software. It's awesome. I'm working around the lack of IOB just fine (although, he's been so dang high, that has NOT been an issue.)

There are a few things working against us, I suppose. It's been an exciting week (Did ya'll hear that it was CHRISTMAS??!!) He's complained of pain in his legs, which always mean GROWING pains, which means basals probably need to be increased.

I put his Dexcom on him for the first time in months, but it's been giving me the ol' three-question-mark salute every night when I need to see what is going on. We should have a whole new Dex system arriving tomorrow, since our warranty expired on the old one and I suspect our transmitter is just kaput.

Do you guys ever just feel like saying F&%$ it, and go back to shots? Because man, MDI seems so much easier at the moment. There are fewer variables. You KNOW the insulin is getting in. There's no bent cannula/blood in cannula/ripped site or pod crap.

So the verdict is in. Pumps are a wonderful tool in delivering insulin, but they are all far from perfect.  Adam, on the other hand, enjoys being free of the tubing so much, that we are going to keep "podding" along until we get it all figured out.

2012, please be kind.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Last Year...

Last year at this time, we were waiting to start pumping with the Animas Ping. Our pump start date was January 7th...who knew that exactly a year later, we'd be switching to OmniPod? I guess it just goes to show you that you just never know what life has in store for you...I'm trying...slowly, but surely...to accept that I simply cannot plan ahead, no matter how hard I try. Going with the flow is something I've had to learn quickly since Adam was diagnosed.

I was reading my blog entries from last December:

I still feel like this is all a dream I am going to wake up from. I read your blogs…I identify, I relate and then I sit back and go whoa…this is me. This is my life. This is HIS life. He has a disease. It is not going away. And I still can’t fucking believe it. I had a great talk with a friend last night and I think I haven't quite reached the acceptance stage yet.

All I want for Christmas is to feel normal again. I want to go back to the person I was 4 months ago. No one likes the person I am now, least of all me. I am changed. Our family is changed. And while in the future, I may see some things as a blessing, I don’t feel as if we are changed for the better and that hurts.

Parenting is the single thing that brings me to my knees on a daily basis. Even before Adam’s diagnosis, you walk around each day as a parent, wondering how you are going to screw them up that day.

Parenting a diabetic child and his sibling is even harder. I know you all understand.
Do I feel any different this December? I suppose a little bit. I'm not mourning (as much) what was lost. The fact that my 5 year old will never know life without insulin, will never not bolus before eating...will always carry this burden with him until a cure is found. I pray and hope he doesn't grow up seeing it as a burden, but I know there will be times that he feels it is. 
I was reading Wendy's blog post from today, and got a pit in the bottom of my stomach at the thought of sending Adam off to a playdate, 20 minutes away....with someone who knows nothing about diabetes care. And she did it! She trusted Sugar, and wow....my hope is that I can do that someday too. :) 
Some things are different for the better this year. I have a full year of d-care under my belt. I've become a master at guessing carb counts. I know how to navigate Adam's pumps and I can do a site change in no time flat (which will be even faster with OmniPod!)  But I still stress that I don't know enough. When to change his I:C ratios...basal rates. I've learned to ask for help. I email his endo when I'm lost...we try, try, and try again until we see some semblance of "normal" numbers. 
I still bristle when people ask if his diabetes is "under control."  I get tired of explaining over and over and over again that YES he can have candy, we just have to cover the carbs with insulin. That NO he did NOT "get" diabetes from eating poorly, that it's an auto-immune disease that was in no way his fault.
I'll make a little d-mom confession here...one of the reasons I'm excited about the OmniPod is for the same reason Adam is excited: no one will know. And if no one will know? Then I won't have to explain over and over and over again...
And to close out this random, highly scattered post...I just want to send a shout out to all the d-mamas out there. I have learned MORE from you all than all the doctors we've ever seen. When we need supplies? This community is there to share what they have when others need them. I'm continually amazed at the wonderful generosity and spirit that we all share. ((hugs))

Thursday, December 8, 2011

And the glassybaby goes to...

Ha! You thought I'd say it right away? Tee hee...

I should have posted this earlier, but Adam has been sick with a nasty cold and we've been enjoying some nice daytime naps. Haven't gotten anything done the last few days, but snuggling with my boy and the kitty has made for some cozy afternoons. And I've watched more Big Time Rush episodes than I care to admit...let's just not talk about that, mmmkay?

So, I had 9 entries...which made the chances that much better for all of you that entered. :) I printed out the comments, cut them into strips and put them in Adam's hat:

And then....he picked one!:

What...you can't read that? Damn camera - I focused on that cute face with the red, runny nose. Here's what it says:

It's WENDY!! Wendy, Wendy, bo bendy, banana-fana fo fendy...me my mo mendy...WENDY!

Sorry...not sure where that song came from. Must be feeling goofy tonight! 

Wendy, my friend, you are our winner. Yay! Email me at mylifeasapancreas@gmail.com with your address and I will send it to you. Luckily, I don't have to send it far. :)

On that note, we have been busy Clark Griswold-ing our house for the holidays. One of the perks of having an 8 year old is that I didn't have to decorate one of our trees - she did it all by herself!

We also have another "helper" this year:

Yeah, she's not much of a help. She's pretty much un-decorated the bottom of each tree. She's too cute to be mad at, though!

And for kicks...I have to share this ornament that Adam made last year. I LOVE it and he HATES it. I keep finding it upside down behind the tree. Then I promptly put it back up, front and center.

It makes me chuckle!

In other news...our OmniPod has arrived! We've got pods, a PDM and a nervous mommy. We aren't training until the 16th (my choice) so that we can get used to it over Christmas break before I have to re-teach his nurses what to do.
That's the news from here...time to put my little rugrats to bed. Tomorrow is FRIDAY...yay!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Giveaway!

I have a little giveaway for my wonderful DOC peeps.

It's not a pump pack or a medic alert bracelet or juice boxes. What is it, you ask?

It's a lovely little something just for you: 

It is a "Hope" glassybaby.

Here is the description from glassybaby's website:


I live in hospitals and crowded school rooms. I'm there when planes and teenagers are late coming home. I am the future and people give me to those they care about. Some of those people refer to me as the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am hope
I am glassybaby

Never heard of glassybaby? I hadn't either, until my sweet momma got me one last year. glassybabies are beautiful, hand-blown glass cups that can be used for a variety of things - a bud vase, votive holder or even as a drinking glass. They are gorgeous, heavy, and cast a beautiful glow when you light a tea light inside them. They are all unique and one-of-a-kind, handmade pieces of glass.

The best part about glassybaby? They are a charity-driven organization. From their website:

"At the heart of glassybaby is our mission of goodwill donating hundreds of thousands of dollars to charities dedicated to health, healing and quality of life, thereby helping to provide a safety net to those in need. So many stories begin and are fostered around these little beacons of hope. Creating memories, gifting and receiving, lighting and sharing, our community is strengthened and supported by glassybaby giving. As a company, we are determined to stay true to our mission, we are grateful to our community for sharing in our journey, remembering that as each of us moves through our own story, it is our own voice we must listen to, it is our light that must shine."

Love that! 

I use my glassybabies for many things: 

On my mantle - oh how I wish the blue glassybaby was called Hope (for diabetes)! This one is called "Fortitude."

Our Thanksgiving table - all of my mom's glassybabies with flowers! Beautiful.

Today, my mom and I are giving a Hope glassybaby to one of you. So you may light it, feel it's calming warmth...and some hope when the night is dark and the numbers are not so great.

So, leave me a comment! Please include your name! The giveaway will run through midnight on Wednesday, December 5th. I'll print out the list of comments and have Adam draw one out of a hat!

**This post is not sponsored by glassybaby - my momma purchased the glassybaby to giveaway to one of you!