This is what we do when we are stressed, isn't it? Eat. Lots. Of. Cake.
Fortunately for me, today is Sydney's 8th birthday and I have lots of cake on hand! Let me push away the stress for a moment and share a pic of my girl. Today is her "Golden Birthday," turning 8 years old on the 8th day of the month (and just for good measure, it's the 8th month of the year!)
She had a fun pool party yesterday with her bestest friends. It was a good day.
Okay, back to me. I'm still eating cake, by the way. Balancing it on my laptop while I type. I'm super-talented like that.
I had another diabetes dream last night. This one was slightly humorous. We are down to our last 2 infusion sets (dude, you don't even have to tell me how stupid I am, and I got on that Animas Smart Ship thing right quick today, after I called to have them expedite our stuff.) So, knowing we were low on infusion sets, in my dream the UPS guy backs up his truck and dumps box after box after box of syringes on my driveway. I started crying and said to the UPS man (like he had any say in the matter) "No!!!! We need INFUSION SETS! Not SYRINGES!! What am I going to do with all of these??" He shrugged his shoulders and took off and left me standing amongst piles and piles of syringes.
So here's what I'm wigging out about now. I have this habit of not liking to be a burden on people...and I have a feeling that this is going to carry over into Adam's school situation. There are some things that I feel like *may* be issues, ie: they've cut down on classroom aides for kindergarten and I'm wondering who is going to be responsible for Adam getting to/from lunch, back to the nurse and then out to the playground. Should I be okay with him doing this himself, or should someone be helping him? Let's face it, I'm going to be there the first week or two, since I just volunteered myself to be lunch mom/helper....but that can't last forever. Because really, have you ever smelled an elementary school cafeteria? GROOOSSSSS.
Let it be said that I haven't met with the nurse yet (that's tomorrow) so maybe all of these questions will be answered. But I am afraid I'm going to be an obnoxious mom, busting in there with all of my pages of notes for people and not knowing how far I'm "allowed" to push for what I want. And quite frankly...this is all new to me, so I don't KNOW what I want. I hate being a burden. I hate this...it is so not in my nature. And now having to rely on others to do my "job" of mama pancreas is scary/hard for me.
I just wish that right now I was bursting full of excitement (like Adam is....and as he should be!) and ready for him to take on this new challenge...and then feel the sweet freedom of having both of my kids in school, without a care in the world. But I don't. I want to be excited for him, but I'm too worried. I wish things were different.
All of that "unknown" stuff is scary.