I must be PMS-ing

It’s funny how one comment can set you off.

And this is not even necessarily a diabetes comment…but of course for me, that’s what it all boils down to these days. The fact that certain people don’t understand our life now and they never will.

I made a comment on Facebook about being excited about taking our kids on a surprise spring break trip to Disneyland (for the first time we are staying on property at the Grand Californian) and taking our daughter to the American Girl store in L.A.

A ‘friend’ commented, “Gee, things must be good in the Drew household, because I could never afford to stay there!”

You know what? Let me tell you what goes on in the Drew household. We don’t sleep through the night.  I am up ranting on my blog at 11pm on a school night because I made basal changes and have to check him again before I can 'safely' go to bed. We stick needles in our son 10 times a day and purposely make him bleed. We insert a catheter into his belly so he can get the life-saving insulin he needs. And sometimes I do it wrong. And his blood sugar goes to over 600, which could have led me sending my son to the ER in DKA because I DID IT WRONG. 

Do you live with that in your house? Do you live with that kind of guilt and pressure to keep your kid alive? No, you are more worried about the stresses of the PTA and what you have to endure as room mom. Me? I can’t be room mom because Adam needs me to be his pancreas. So that means my daughter gets slighted. She gets slighted when she needs/wants/deserves attention but I have to tend to Adam’s needs first.

So you know what? We deserve that vacation. It’s none of your freaking business how we are paying for it.  And to make a snarky comment like that just pisses me off.  Some days I’m glad that I haven’t shared this blog with most of my day-to-day friends – just a chosen few read it…a trusted few. But sometimes I wish I could let everyone read this so they would GET IT.

I suppose I may regret publishing this rant later, but for now I’m posting it. I totally get that everyone has their own issues in life, and perhaps this friend has things going on in her life that I don’t know about. But this isn’t the first time she’s been insensitive and I just had to get it off my chest.

No diabetes talk, just fun

I have to admit I'm a little burned out as a mama pancreas lately. So it was a wonderful treat to escape from technology, the internet, facebook, etc. for a weekend to play in the snow with my family at my parents' cabin. Here's to a relaxing weekend!

I am so not used to the cold and snow - but it was so much fun! My favorite sound in the whole world is listening to freshly fallen snow make that "crunch" under your boots. I kept telling the kids to listen to the silence...and they looked at me like I was crazy. But it was beautiful.

Thanks.

All's well that ends well. Just wanted to thank those of you who gave me advice and hugs. I was completely stressed out over this, and now that I look at all of the data I "collected," it's obvious it was a site issue, where the cannula was bent or something. It's too bad that I had to let him deal with 24 hours of no insulin before I realized this (mostly because I had JUST changed his site when the numbers started to climb) but, alas....add one more thing that I've learned to the list.

His numbers are fine now - back to regularly scheduled programming. Whatever that is. 

HI

I guess there's a first time for everything. I tested Adam before bed tonight and the meter just said "HI." We all know that means his BG is over 600. I don't know what to do. I had just given him 3 whole units for his dinner plus a correction an hour ago. I just rage-bolused another 2 units (after a site change, of course). Maybe the cannula was bent? I have no idea. He was nowhere near in range at all today.

No ketones so far. How could he be this high for so long with no ketones? Is that normal? I've tested with the blood ketone meter as well as the ketostix. I'm starting to freak out a bit, and no matter what I'll be calling his endo tomorrow with all of this info. I wanted to have 3 solid days of numbers for him, but this just can't wait.

Another night of no sleep. Yippee.

***I'm thinking we had our first bent cannula. I have no idea, since I let Adam take it off, but things are good now! Even though I had just done a site change, something must have gone wrong when I put it in and insulin wasn't being absorbed. New site, all is well. Whew. 

It's like I'm bolusing water.

Arrgghh.

I increased basals a notch. So now he's at 0.200 units per hour. This is doing nothing. I'm logging for the next few days to see what to do.

Tonight, I had gotten him down to a steady 115 (he'd been playing outside for a few hours). He had 2 chocolates (treat for site change - the lovely 4 carb Lindor truffles. I always picture Reyna throwing them at Joe when I give Adam one!), PB sandwich (sans crust) and half a banana. I dosed him at 6:30 for 35 carbs at his 1:30 carb ratio. It is now 9:30pm and he is 356.

More basal? Carb ratio changes? I know I really should just track religiously for a few days and email his endo, but of course, I want answers now. :)

I'm thinking also that his honeymoon is ending. When that happened for your child, did you notice this kind of thing, like the insulin isn't working?

Feeling Out of Control

ArrgghhHH.

Time to drag out the logbook again and do some basals. And perhaps even some carb ratio checking.

I'm at a loss with Adam's numbers the last week. Yes, he hasn't been feeling well, but I took him to the doctor yesterday and he doesn't have an infection (negative for strep & flu, thank goodness) just a virus/cold.

He's been waking in the 200's all week. Dex has not been able to keep up with his wildly fluctuating numbers, with us getting ??? half the time, so I just dumped it and I'm going to slap on a new one today.

I've been rockin' the temp basals, thanks to Reyna's reminder about how great they are, but I'm wondering when is it time to switch up the basals totally, or just keep temping? I have no idea how long this virus is going to last. He woke up at a fairly decent 153 this morning, and 2 hours after breakfast he is now 456!
WTF.

Is it carb ratios? Sickness? Basal rates? I think I just don't know where to start. He has not been in the 100's for much of this week.

Where do I start, O wise ladies of pancreatic mothering?

A Bit Worried...

I'm a bit worried about Adam.

He just hasn't been acting himself lately. Truth be told, he's acting like he was before he was diagnosed - incredibly irritable, sleepy, taking naps.

He's had a cold for over a week. Just a minor one, but the coughing hasn't gone away. But he sleeps all night and doesn't cough, so I haven't taken him in. His blood sugars have been totally out of whack since Sunday, though - really high, so I think I might need to change up some things. He keeps saying that he just doesn't feel good...this is the first time he's indicated that high blood sugar makes him feel like CRAP. I feel so sad for him.

If he's not feeling better tomorrow, I may just take him to his pediatrician.

With kids...the worrying just never ends.

Yep, We Were High Today. (And I'm Okay With That!)

We've had lots of treats today, and Adam has been high. But you know, sometimes you just have to enjoy the day. There will be chocolate for breakfast tomorrow. I'm not going to deny him that tradition on Valentine's Day. 

Notice the Ping in the picture...can't seem to take a pic these days without that thing in sight. But, it is needed when one 4 year old is decorating and licking and eating...over and over again. :)

I guess you could say that baking is my passion. Well, baking pretty cookies is my passion, one I don't get to indulge in enough. The kiddos were busy for the afternoon (Sydney was playing at a friend's house and Adam fell asleep on the couch) so I was able to have some quiet time to create and have fun. I can't wait to share these with my loved ones tomorrow!

I'm Losing My Mind

This sign is mine.

Ironically, I purchased it about a month ago, thinking it was quite hilarious and I had to have it.

Little did I know, that it would become quite literal.

The last few weeks things have been slipping my mind. Not little things...big things like doctor's appointments. Adam had an eye appointment with his surgeon last week at 8:30am on a Thursday. That Thursday morning I was in my PJ's, drinking some tea when I looked up at the clock and it said 8:25. I freaked out and called the office and they said I could still come if I could be there in 10 minutes.

I made it. But the doctor probably wondered why I never took my coat off in the office, because I was wearing my pajamas underneath it. **sigh**

Then I missed a dental appointment for Sydney to get sealants on her teeth. I got my phone reminder, my email reminder and I STILL missed it - and didn't even realize it until the next day.

I DON'T MISS APPOINTMENTS!

This is so uncharacteristic of me.

Today was the final straw. I went to Sprouts (grocery store) with Adam, loaded it in my car and headed back home to drop it off before I had to pick up Sydney from school. I got home and grabbed for my purse. IT WASN'T THERE.

I panicked and realized that I left my purse IN THE SHOPPING CART IN THE PARKING LOT. And it also had Adam's PING REMOTE IN IT!

Shit on a stick.  I left Adam in the car, called Sprouts and luckily, some nice person had indeed found my purse and brought it into the store.

I am losing my mind, people. I have never left my purse anywhere. I just don't do these things. I'm wondering if it's old age (can I claim that at 35?) or tired-mama-pancreas-brain? I'm not sure, but it's kind of starting to scare me.

I want this shirt

I was randomly searching Cafe Press tonight, when I came across this shirt. I immediately thought of Joanne...except we'd have to cross out the "sugar" and replace it with "breakfast!"

I haven't updated for awhile, mostly because I was busy throwing a baby shower for my sister (and it was mighty fun, if I do say so myself!) and because we haven't had much going on diabetes-wise the last few days.

I'm sure I just opened up a whole can o' worms with that declaration. Watch me be up all night with low blood sugars tonight!

Pumping is awesome...although I wish I could get his site to stay on for more than 2 days. It will stay on longer if I use SkinTac, but he got a rash from it when I used it, so I guess I'll just stay with the IV 3000, even though it doesn't work as well.

Random question...does anyone know what the minimum fill for insulin is in the cartridge for the Ping? I'm too lazy to go find our manual to look it up. :) We are wasting a ton of insulin, it seems, especially since the sites are only lasting 2 days. I need to see how low I can fill it, since his TDD isn't that much.