My life is filled with worry these days. I know when I'm 60, I'm going to be able to tell exactly which wrinkles were formed when I was 35. They will be the deepest ones.
Adam has his eye surgery tomorrow. I have faith that it will be just fine. But frankly, so many things have not been "just fine" for him, that I worry. I still cannot believe that he has Type 1 Diabetes. His other issues were enough. Thankfully, we were able to get his Dexcom in time for the surgery, so I will have more confidence that the anesthesiologist will be on top of his blood sugar during the surgery.
It feels strange here at home tonight. My husband is having an extremely busy time at work - he flew to California today and right now is on his way to Chicago. It's unavoidable, and frankly, that job is what gives us our great insurance, so I don't mind that i have to take Adam alone tomorrow. I kind of prefer it that way - I know how to take care of him and I'm a pretty independent person. My daughter is at my wonderful mom's house for the night...tucked away from my worry and fears. She's having a great time, and Nana will take her to school in the morning.
Later tonight, when I'm too tired to stay awake anymore, I will creep upstairs and scoop up my baby boy from his bed and take him in with me to snuggle for the rest of the night. That will make me happy.