Thursday, May 12, 2011

I miss being carefree

I have been enjoying reading everyone's blogs this week! I knew I didn't have it in myself to commit to writing each day, but I sure am having fun reading yours. :)

I am tired. So, so tired. I think I'm just having a few moments where I miss not having to worry about things all the time. I've been consumed with worry about Adam starting kindergarten and meeting with teachers and nurses and frankly...the information I need to teach these people is overwhelming to me. I don't even know what I'm doing myself half of the time and I'm supposed to teach them?

Little things are bugging me. Stupid things, like seeing a mom open up a box of Teddy Grahams at Target and give the whole box to her kid so he can enjoy a snack while she shops. SO CAREFREE! I so miss that. I think the reason I've been snapping at my kids when they ask me for something to eat lately is that it's just so much damn work to get it all ready for Adam.

My husband and I are lucky enough to be getting away for the weekend (here in town...but away from home!) for the first time in 2 years. Last time I was worried about leaving our kids for the first time all weekend, but now with diabetes in the mix, it's a whole other host of problems. I'm trying to get everything ready for my mom and I'm sitting here, amazed at what is involved for me to go away for 2 days. I don't resent it, because it is what it is...there is no changing it. But I do wish things could be a little bit easier sometimes, ya know? I know my mom will do a great job, but now I worry about HER worrying about Adam. I hate burdening people!


  1. I'm so glad you're getting away! Remember this: you're in town. So if something happens, you can be home in a heartbeat, or your mother can call and you can talk her through the situation. Relax, enjoy and sleep!!!

    I know where you are with sending Adam off to kindergarten. Been there, done that! Please don't hesitate to call me, if you have questions, need to vent or anything. If you want my number, email me. I'll give it to you. I will share all of my school documents if you want those too.

  2. First let me say take Heidi up on her offer! I "borrowed" all of her school documents. They are fantastic!

    So happy for you to get away for a couple of deserve it. Enjoy!

  3. I am so in the same place that you are. Natalie will be finishing up preschool soon and I am sick over her starting kindergarten. The thought of someone else giving her a shot is really hard for me to think about. Then throw in a cupcake at school and someone else having to give her so much more insulin without watching her like a hawk?? I am about to lose it! It is so overwhelming to think about what all going to school all day will entail and all the bad things that can happen.

    I get ticked about kids eating so carefree as well. When I'm at Natalie's school, sometimes I have to stay at lunch, and I find myself looking at all the other kids lunches (full of big time sugar/carbs) and then I picture their pancreas just going crazy spitting out insulin. Yes, I am crazy! Enjoy your weekend glad your Mom is able to care for him.

  4. First of all, maybe you can just give him a bag of string cheese sticks and let him go at it while at Target...Second, I understand what you're saying. I just did a care plan for the school to leave my son there for 20 minutes a week (for speech) and that tried my patience. It's one thing to do it, quite another to try and explain it to someone else, esp someone who has no background in d...

  5. Feel you. I too used to really ache when I saw kids just eating out of a container....without a worry. Also, the weekend...I get it. It will all be OK, but right now I am sure it feels somewhat overwhelming. (((HUGS))) to you.

  6. I'm in the same boat... starting to panic about school in the fall - our school has no history of dealing with D, and I don't feel like I have it in me to be the ground breaker. But somehow we will survive.

    I also know what you mean about not wanting to be a burden. I think I did such a good job of not worrying my mom during diagnosis, that now she thinks we're all in control. Hard to balance protecting those we love and being close and real with them. Thanks for sharing!